Attitude

One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone tries to be a tattle tail (sp?).  But even worse, when that tattle tail is in a professional work setting.  I mean, come on! I am dealing with drama, as you can tell.  Sometimes, most of the time, I feel like my life is one big soap opera.  Work has been the main event for me lately.  I wish I could go on and on and just let everything I have been feeling about work out right now, but you never know who is going to read this and I don't want to get in trouble with the wrong person for what I say.  So I'll just leave it at, holy drama.  

Next, my dating is life more complicated than it can possibly get.  I am dating an amazing, wonderful, GREAT guy that I am absolutely crazy and in love with.  Think that should be the end of the story right there, right?  Wrong.  My missionary comes home in one month and twenty days.  My relationship with him before he left was as strong and perfect as a relationship can get.  So yes, while I know how strongly I feel about the guy I am dating right now, it is very difficult to allow myself to forget completely about my missionary when there was that huge connection that really never ended.  Sending a missionary off isn't like breaking up because you don't have that confirmation that things will not be the same anymore.  When you send a missionary off, you are basically saying, I love you, I want to be with you, but I know I can't so I'll see you in two years and we'll see where we both are at in life and how we feel.  Personally, that is such an unfair place to leave a relationship at.  How is someone supposed to completely move on and love again when there is that dot, dot, dot to the last relationship they were in?  You don't ever want to move on and then always wonder what would have happened.  Dating while my missionary has been gone has been the best decision I have made.  Yes, it has made everything a million times more complicated.  Yes, it has caused a lot of stress and extreme worry in my family, and all other families involved.  And yes, sometimes I wonder what the heck I have gotten myself into because I don't know where to go from here.  BUT.  I have enjoyed myself and learned.  I have made mistakes and learned from them and because of them, I am stronger in myself, my testimony, and have gained more confidence in myself and what I want for my future.  I know there is pain ahead in dealing with and figuring out a solution to the choices I have ahead of me, but I can't worry about it because it will work out in the right time and there is no need to fear what I have ahead of me.  I read a quote the other day and I wrote it down and hung it in my bathroom so that I can see it every day I get ready.  I really like the quote because it reminds me that no matter what goes on around me, or what happens in my life, it is up to me to decide how I want to handle it and how I want to feel regardless.  Here it is:

"The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.  Attitude to me is more important that facts.  It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do.  It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.  It will make or break an athletic team, company, organization, church, or a home.  The remarkable thing is that we have a choice every day regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.  We cannot change the regrets of the past nor do we need to fear the events of the future.  Regret and fear are twin thieves who would rob us of the thing we have control over, that is our attitude.  We need to learn to go into the arena every day with a winning attitude and enjoy the challenges it brings.  I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.  And so it is with you ....... we are in charge of our attitudes."  -Charles Swindoll