I feel like I have had just an extremely ungrateful attitude about me lately and I need an opportunity to be humbled. When I get emotional or extremely passionate about something, I write. I have about a billion zillion different journals that have a full rainbow of emotions written inside. But it feels lately that I only write during the hard times and I don't want it to be like that. I have my trials and I learn to handle them as every day passes, but to me, regardless of what else is going on around me, my trials feel like the most important and most difficult thing going on in the world. But the reality of it is, it's not even the smallest fraction of what others are going through.
I had an interesting talk the other day with the most amazing guy in the world. He was in a lot of pain due to some health problems, it was crippling to watch him lay there in agony. But through it, he told me how at that moment in time, he had a much bigger understanding and appreciation for the pain and suffering Jesus went through for all of us. He said while at that moment, the pain he was feeling was the worst pain he's experienced in his lifetime, he knew that meant the our Savior felt that same pain for him. On top of the huge amounts of pain he suffered for everyone else too. He then asked me if I was the only one in the entire history of human kind to have ever sinned, do I think that Jesus would have suffered and died for me? If I was the only one to ever to sin, would the Savior have bled for me? Yes. He would have. He didn't suffer for the human race as a whole. He suffered for each individual person. He knows each individuals pains and sorrows and he felt that with us. He knew and knows my name and knows every trial I go through that I feel is the worst and most painful trail in the world, and he felt the same way for me. He felt it for everyone.
That being said, I am grateful for so many things I never give real credit to enough. Like the opportunities I am getting through nursing school for one. The things I learn, the patients I take care of, and the experiences of being there to improve another person's life in the little and big ways has completely shifted the way I look at the healthcare system and my future as a healthcare provider. I could not have picked a better calling in life. While there may be many other people around who go into nursing, I can whole heartedly say that this is where I belong. While I could go on for days about other things I'm extremely grateful for, just know that today especially, I appreciate everything, big and small, that I have in my life. I was dealt a far better hand in life than many people and I can never be grateful enough for it all.
