Well basically it's been a lifetime and a half since I have updated this blog once again. I go through phases of whether or not I want to keep writing on it, but I love reading other people's blogs so I figure I better keep mine up so I can keep reading other's also. Life is constantly changing in drastic ways for me. It's hard to believe that the life I am living right now is actually my life. Where did all my stability go? Everything is in constant motion. Well I guess I will start at the top.
I got into nursing school at Broadview University. It is an accelerated private program and it has been great so far. It's a lot of work, a lot of homework to be exact, but so far so good. I should be finished in about December of 2012, and I cannot wait for that day! To be an RN and to make some good money instead of being a boring, old CNA would be great!
Next, my missionary. He is always a topic of my conversation, a headline in my mind. Waiting for a missionary is tortureous, terrible work. I DO NOT EVER recommend it for anyone. Just don't do it. As for me, it is a constant up and down rollercoaster. I love that guy in Kentucky, I know I do. But it's so difficult to know exactly how you feel when you haven't seen, let alone really talked to someone in 18 months. SO difficult. It is such a scary process and there is never peace of mind. Especially when I am home seeing so many friends that I have known had missionaries they were waiting for, whose missionary came home and it was so different and didn't work out, or the missionary wrote her off! I can't tell you how many times I've seen it happen here. Now, I know J.D. would never write me off. I know that. But it's scary to think about how it will be when he gets home. Willl things be the same between us? Or will it feel totally awkward? I was actually able to talk to J.D. for the first time on Mother's Day this year. Not only that, but I was able to Skype with him! I got to see his face and talk with him at the same time. Against the rules? Who knows. Maybe, maybe not. I don't freaking care. It had been so, so long and it was well past time for it. Talking with him was great, and it actually did feel very normal. So that gives me confidence that things will be just the same when he gets home. But it's still something you never stop worrying about.
Now. Complication #1. Dating. Yes, I have been dating since J.D. has been gone. Yes, there have been some amazing guys in my life, no one that I have actually seen much reason to worry about as far as J.D. and I though. Until now. I met this guy who is absolutely amazing in every way. I spend a lot of time with him and I have grown so close with him that he really is a big part of my life. The scariest part of it all, is that I could see myself being with him forever, and I would be extremely happy! He knows how to treat a woman, he has been through a lot in his life, he is very driven and ambitious, and he has become one of my very best friends. I have not kept J.D. in the dark about this guy, yes he knows. Yes, he hates it but he is also understanding at the same time. Dating is a process that needed to happen while J.D. was gone. Things will all work out the way they are supposed to. I know that I am putting myself in a situation that will end in hurt, no matter the outcome. Either J.D. will hurt, or this guy will hurt badly. And in either case I will hurt badly. Not to mention the hurt that it puts on families in all parties. But, I am doing what I am supposed to be doing and if that is true then God will not let me get into a situation that I or anyone else cannot handle. Pain is a part of the experience of finding the person you are going to be with forever, and it is a necessary and crucial part. I have learned from every painful experience I have been put through. And I am not alone in figuring out where I am supposed to be in this decision making process. As scary as it all can be, God is on my side and will help me through it.
Now, on a happier note. I have a new addition to my family. Her name is Koda, and she is a beautiful all white Siberian Husky that has one baby blue eye and one brown eye that has a line of blue in it. She is about 3 months old now, and she is the love of my life! My goodness, puppies can absolutely suck sometimes, Koda sure knows how to get into everything, and destroy it all! But once I got a cage for her to be in when I'm not home, it has improved greatly. She has a lot of energy and takes away a lot of my own energy, but she is a lot of fun and I love her to death.
Well, I think that's about all I'm going to say for now. I will work on keeping this updated a little better for my own sake, who knows who reads this. But it's always fun to look back upon and laugh about the good times in my life. :)
Koda on the first day I got her, 7 weeks old.
First day that Koda's ears stood up!
